Category: Let's talk
To those of you who have given a lot of thought to the fact you're blind, how you compare to other blind people, how you think sighted people perceive you or blind people, whether you have more sighted friends than blind friends, the independence and employment status of blind people you've never met, why have you spent so much time thinking about being blind? Why didn't you think about something else?
amen, my friend!! sighted people don't think about being sighted so...just live your life and be happy...or not.
I don't ever dwell on it. I am never around blind people, all my friends are sighted. Life goes on...
I may engage in "blind discussions" but I certainly do not focus on it. That said, as I get older, I find myself more and more drawn to the "blind community." I still have mostly sighted friends and...yes, life goes on as the last poster said.
aw, sinior, i start to loves you. lol.
you might say i'm different, but the concept of "me being blind thats why i'm different" never occur in me. most of my friend are sighted, and i truely enjoy the sighted company. yes, there're lots of incommon we, as blind share among ourselves, but doesn't mean that, we should excludes ourselves to our small little community, and starts stereotyping about the sighted on how there perceive us as the fact that we are blind. infact, from my interaction with the sighted world, i found that, most times, we have the wrong perception about how the sighted purtray us. i must admit that, the last generation, maybe those who's in their 60s, or older might have different view about blindness back then, but in the new generation, specially the generation E and Y for example, they don't mind so much about the fact that we're blind, therefore, we are different.
as to your questions, the answer is i don't know, and i would like to know too, so, others, help us up?
It also depends on where you're from When I used to live in Vernon, people, as I often say, looked at me sideways. Why? Because I'm not like them...I am blind. Now, in this new town we've lived in for some time...well...most are okay but I find lots of people who look at me sideways.
wow.
i'm blind and happy about it.
wouldn't change even if i could
I don't like to play the pity party, and I will tell people just that if they try the whole...Poor you. You're blind, speech. It's a part of my life, but it isn't my whole life. I make friends with blind and sighted people alike. I have no preference. That being said, I wouldn't complain if I ever gained sight. I've often wondered, casually, what it would be like. Sometimes I wonder if I would ever be able to get used to it, but I'm not opposed to the idea either.
I would hate gaining sight...I'd have to relearn things like how to read and such.
I concur with most on here: it's a hardware and not a software failure.
I suppose the fact that no matter how I work out, I can be in shape but don't really buff up like some other guys do ... well that also used to bug me when I was sixteen ... 'you're not like those other lazy faggots' (except I am straight ...) well I tend not to focus upon hardware too much; software is king.
But Senior I think you can look at the age of some of these people on here and get your answer: We work with the teenage daughter all the time on not comparing oneself to others, who has what, that sort of thing. Some of these on here are doing basically that, only wrapping it in a somewhat-saintly veneer at times, but it's basically the same ol' same ol'. Consider their age.
As to the one who said they would never get sight, I used to think that way, and still pretty much do. However, if hardware reparations made what we term accessibility obsolete, you damn well bet I would, not for pity but just to stay current - it's just hardware. And as I said ... software is king ...
the thing that makes me think of blindness is the times when i can't get soemthing done because of it. such as going to the ATM myself, i can't use that independantly, due to barriers put in my way by the sighted majority. i come closest to forgetting my disability, though one can never really do so, when i'm with the horses I work with. i ahve to be careful around them, but then so does everyone. we speak the same langauge, and it's one that has no barriers to communication at all.
I think it's because I personally get annoyed when people tell me that I'm not like other blind people, so a part of me tries hard to not be like what sighted people think blind people are like because I actually want to be socially normal and acceptable in the sighted world because it's what I've lived in for most of my life.
I want to move in sighted circles rather than blind ones because I want to be part of a majority, not a minority.
the same as I don't get involved with blind activism because I want to get involved with more worldly causes.
SmokeyBear you work with horses, I think that's awesome! I'm not much into animals myself, but read someplace of a distance rider who was blind. I've been on a horse before - me and some friends - I guess you would just get used to it up there and be able to keep your bearings. I don't know how exactly to say this, but from up there sound doesn't bounce off of things so much. I could hear when it was on the road and try and keep it following the other ones. Probably be an interesting topic for a different board if yu can ever dedicate the time to explain it all to us.
And Swiss, that's not your problem, that's theirs. It seems you may have a little infestation over there, such excessive commentary is highly unusual behavior for most people. Every geographic region has its weird stuff; we've had people lately so 'doggy-lover' out here in large numbers, you'll see them throw themselves down in full prostration on a wet sidewalk before a pooch as though it was a pre-medieval god. I thought it was an act the first time I saw it ...
but just sayin' it's them and not you. And as there's more sighted people than blind - understatement of the year - you've no problems being in the 'sighted world ' (synonymous with the world in general?)
Well, I used to consider it the world in general until I went to camps for the blind where most people exhibited extremely blind behaviour like rocking and so on. if that's the majority of blind people, then I don't want any part of it...
I don't usually give much thought to my blindness. I only do so when I'm learning how to adapt an activity, device, or object for myself. I also think about it when I can't do something that the rest of my sighted peers are doing.
I don't really think about the unemployment of blind people. I know that because of my blindness and how sighted people perceive me, it'll most likely be another thing counted against me in the working world.
I don't think about and wonder why I have more blind friends than sighted, I just notice it. I know why this is the case, but there's more to it than just the visual difference.
I don't think about myself compared to other sighted people or blind people. I've never been told that I don't act like most blind people, or vice versa. Yes, there are some people who haven't the slightest idea I'm blind until they see the cane, but they've never said I don't act like other blind folks. However, I've been told by VI teachers and O&M specialists that I don't carry the mannerisms that a lot of blind people have, but other than that, I don't take such things into contemplation. The habits of other blind people don't bother me, not even the ones who rock when I talk to them. I might if someone pointed it out, and if I do notice, it goes to the back of my mind. In the end, they'll be more affected by that than I am, so whatever.
I went to a blind camp and they didn't all act that way. Swiss, where are you meeting these people? Sure many blind people act that way but certainly not all of them.
I never said all, I said most.
I met a lot of them at music camp when I first went, and yes, more than half. and kept meeting them after. I even met some at a blind convention I went to once a few years after, but I didn't notice as much then because I was pretty sick that weekend admitedly.
and it's not just the rocking, I notice a lot more when I'm around them because I have some sight. clothing that doesn't match, even the tendancy that a lot of blind people have to stand far too close to you.
Well it may or may not make up a majority of population at camps 'for the blind' though I have no real statistical data to confirm or deny it, but it seems quite a large illogical leap to go from a segregated camp environment to the place where you find most in regular society.
I too went to one of those work camp places in high school once. Didn't mind the work actually, it was just a summer job and earned some dough. However, that apparently was sort of an island, I have yet to see this in the norm / on buses or whatever. It was jus that space.
I admit that some things were kinda weird, and I actually got into trouble for allegedly leading a group of us who all assaulted and summarily threw a guy in the shower for stinkin' but that wasn't us behaving like blind people, that was just teenage boys gettin' outa hand. Coulda happened, and sometimes did happen, in the public school locker rooms where some jock or whatever didn't shower / stunk and the rest of us would gang up. the folks in charge were the ones that interpreted both the guy who was the target, and us, as acting on blindness. To be fair, if I were them I'd break up the fight; that's just sense.
Why the occasional blink or jock or whoever don't shower, I'm sure the psychology people have some sorta answer for that. As to the assault, well, that's explainable as a bunch of young testosterone-infested hot-bloods, nothin' to do with eyes there.
I highly doubt the jocks or whoever stunk when we were in school stink now; they probably sold your parents their home owners' insurance or something. Not all of us who experimented with stuff, got into scraps or whatever, any number of things associated with a misspent youth - who were supposed to turn out slackers - still do any of that. Nope, in fact everyone I know who was like that pretty much settled down after awhile, and leads a normal life. And I can't see a bunch of guys my age, at a health club or someplace, gang-grabbing some smelly dude, committing minor assaults and summarily throwing them in the shower. What would be even weirder than that is if people expected that we would, just because some of us might have back in the day at school in the locker rooms, or at a particular camp where we might have been acting a bit like Jack and his Tribe from Lord of the Flies.
Just sayin' don't take too seriously what you may have seen at a summer camp, or in a locker room someplace. I mean I realize things can get serious and out of hand, but that's not a reflection of a population in general. Plus sounds like you're not really happy going to those places; I understand that. I didn't go back after that either; the feeling was sorta mutual I think. So just do something else. You seem pretty resourceful; there's plenty out there, and you're young / unencumbered, so just go for it, try some stuff out and otherwise occupy yourself.
But knowing it's a camp situation that convinced you of how people, in this case blind people are, it makes sense why you'd think this stuff about blind people in general.
As to the rest of them at that camp? They'll grow out of it; most people do.
ah I remember throwing some guy in the shower at camp. Lol!
Okay, it's just camp, but I've met many blind people who act in a way that makes me ashamed. And, many don't even shower! Yuck.
Recognize that some blind people are not the only ones who do not care well for themselves. There are sightted people who don't shower too, by the way.
yeah, but my point yet again is that if they're just some random sighted person who is homeless or something, noone cares, but if they are associated with a minority group, that behaviour is associated with that group.
Australians sometimes fall into the trap of thinking that all aboriginal people are alcoholics because they see one drunk one. if we saw an unclean one, some of us would probably pass that behaviour onto them too.
we pass certain atributes onto minority groups, and the ones that the blind have do not make me happy.
So, why do people do this? Just because we are a minority? I think what needs to happen here is that those of us who do live productive lives need to step up to the plate and prove that we can, instead of complaining about those who don't.
I couldn't have said it better myself, Jess!! I think what's happening here is people are spending more time complaining about the very things they can't stand in certain individuals, instead of doing what they can for the betterment of society.
Yes, society, but also themselves. How can we prove this stereotyping wrong if we don't make some effort to try?
Those of us who do try will call it as they see it.
I love it when a sighted person compliments me on not acting blind. I'm not ashamed of my blindness, but like others have said, it's just a part of my life. I try not to exhibit behaviors that are typically thought of as "blind". Appearance is very important to me, like it is for most people. I have friends in other cultures, and they all know I am blind. After the few routine questions, we talk about regular things. I feel more comfortable around sighted people. I wouldn't give up the opportunity to be fully sighted. I wouldn't mind relearning things, learning is part of life. I'm not involved in blind activism, cause like another poster has said, I'd rather be involved in more worldly causes. As far as comments related to hyigene, or alcoholism, nobody is denying the fact that sighted or not, people can drink, have bad hyigene, or stand too close to a person. But, this doesn't take away from the fact that these things do often seem to occur in greater proportion in the blind community. Just because you can't see how you look, doesn't mean others can't. As much as it sucks sometimes, people do tend to stereotype a certain type of people just after meeting one. If I can set a good example, then fine.
So these sighted people that compliment you, roughly how many blind people have they met? Since we seem to have many blind people that complain about the ideosyncracies of others, would you say it's about half in half? Half have these habits, and half don't?
I would bet it's not even half in half. Most of these tales of woe frankly are pretty over the top. And imagine, it's the weird stuff gets noticed.
Notice how as you say, they tell you you "aren't like all the other (real or imagined) blind people".
Just as my black friend heard.
So according to the last poster, my black friend should have taken the racist's comments as a compliment, he wasn't like all the other "niggers" be they real or imagined ...
As to calling someone out - that you don't know? Good luck with the fat lip. Picking a fight with a total stranger isn't my idea of bein' civil but if it's yours, go for it.
And to the poster before last, would you for real take it as a compliment from a man if he told you "You're not like all the other "bitches" out there ..." and went off on some litany about what other women do? As I said, most women I know would tag that guy as *loser*, even if the guy was right about some things. Could you imagine it? I can just see the latest in Women's Studies departments, - often about as far afield as some people on here apparently are, - picking up chauvinist comments and saying how natural it is in the male community of construction workers, what with men making up a majority in that business, and women have to <fill in the blank>.
Nobody I have any respect for has ever come off with wild tales of woe about such half-orcs emitting noxious fumes and committing other social attrocities. Yes, I have heard the alleged compliment from one of these, usually your average rubbernecker or the one who'd say nice things to your face and backstab you when they get the chance.
You or I can't "prove" to someone like that anything different from what they already want to believe, and probably get a weird thing out of looking at. That racist fellow that ran into a friend of mine and I who said my friend wasn't like all the other ... well, you really think my friend had any impact on that guy? No, and that racist guy uses *all* *every single one* of your arguments. My friend told me these guys say black people stink, they do weird things in public ... a good majority of what you all claim, except substitute one or two things maybe not rock back and forth or poke the eyes but instead steal and rape.
The scary part being, your arguments have just enough truth: the fact there are social norms a majority of the population follow, and those who don't get excluded. We all understand that, and do our share of excluding; that's life. Most of us have the decency not to claim some sort of moral high ground when it happens, it ... just happens.
None of this has anything to do with vision really, anymore than the race thing has to do with pigment or lack thereof. I wonder how integration of African Americans, or of women even, in the workplace would have turned out if people of said groups accepted similar compliments as compliments, thus continuing their relative stereotypes. That's some scary shit, and you all are playin' with fire ... you prove nothing by accepting such compliments; just keep the stereotypes flowing.
As to being with more sighted than blind? I have not spoken with a blind person who hasn't. Sighted people make up a *vast* majority of the population, you share 99% or more of your interests with various groups of sighted people, you're into and out of a ton of different things, not just work and school, but whatever hobbies you take up and put down. And most if not all of that includes a majority of sighted people. Even people who work at agencies for the blind, the blind are the minority. That's pretty much a factor of biology, no high ground there.
And the fiction that there could be a separatist enclave of blinks that exclude sighted people ... while an interesting and fantastical idea of alleged detractors from our ability to get ahead in life ... is highly unlikely.
I'll wager even, that before the Internet, blind people were probably quite spread out. So spread out even, that those unfortunate enough to have to go to segregated schools had to board the whole term far away from family and friends.
So, ironically, we had to have some sites put up, so this alleged exclusion of "the sighted", aka the population at large, could be written about.
In regular life this exclusion wouldn't even really be that feasible.
Consider Facebook or similar sites: You hook up with all sorts of groups you can't in your regular life participate in, because you're too busy doing other stuff, maybe too poor or financially invested otherwise, but you have a level of involvement. Not all that different from checking in here.
But this whole idea of negating a stereotype by gratifying somebody's need to express it aka pay you a false compliment ... well, I've gotta hand it to you, it's without any historical precedent at all amongst other minority groups, all of which have had certain undesirable elements - undesirable to the majority - which they either dispensed with, melded or otherwise ceased to be an issue.
It's a lot like the news. The weird/out of place behaviors get most of the attention, and the triumphs get very little. So, in that case, it may seem that a majority of blind people act this way. This is why I say that those of us who don't act that way should make the public more aware of it when given the chance to disprove this theory that a majority of the blind/VI comunity act in ways that are socially inappropriate. Having said that, I'm not saying that we should wear signs on our back either. See? We're disproving the common theory. I'm just saying...get out, walk independently. Hang out with friends in public. Just those suttle hints will often be enough.
I agree. I would also like to point out that we have many self-hating blind folks on the zone. Yes, many blind people act in a socially aucward way, but not all. It's a shame that so many do but what can we do about it?
First, I don't ask how many blind people someone knows after they've given me a compliment. Next, to the biches comment, of course I'd say that guy is a loser. Most of the people who compliment me aren't necessarily after dates. As far as the hyigene and social awkwardness, most of the blind people that I know in my community are that way. Granted, there's not a whole lot of blind people here. Again, these are just the people I have met. Believe me, I know there are hyigenically and socially competent people out there. In fact, most blind people probably don't exhibit poor hyigene or social skills. I am only speaking from my personal experience about the blind people in my community. I can't comment about other blind people I've never met!
Your second point: excellent observation. If you initially meant that, my apologies. I just contest the claim that 'all blind' ... or 'most blind ...' (or fill in your favorite group) do, or are, or exhibit ...
I still contend that what you refer to as a compliment is actually a false compliment.
Huge difference between something like that, and something like:
"Wow, you wrote that? I've been running it for ... and think it's ..."
or pick your profession / occupation or skill.
I personally know a lawyer who nearly swore me to secrecy not to ever mention his occupation and name together, to avoid getting such false compliments. When he started explaining why, I told him I understand, he said ... "You do?" so I explained. Apparently he'd had enough of the false compliments (generally accompanied by big bad lawyer stories) at parties.
And, ironically, in certain circles I wouldn't dream of exposing that I'm a software developer if only that we are automatically deemed as out of touch, arrogant, elitist, all sorts of other stereotypes. I consider that a false compliment as well when I hear 'You aren't like all those other developers out there,'
I know many who genuinely care about their users' experience, try and explain things to users as best they can, provide help for aka are the go to guy for the fam or close friends whenever they need it with computers and devices. And they / we all do it without being meen, rude, inconsiderate or any other stereotype that people claim we all are.
None of us consider it an actual compliment to first deride our profession for which we are proud, and then say we are somehow not like them.
For all groups mentioned on here, there are some among them that exhibit some of these behaviors some of the time. And sure, I'm like to become impatient when a young relation has installed their tenth piece of game or porn software on their mom's computer and bypassed all the security I'd set up to begin with ... and comes crawling for help ... so yeah, in that instance especially if I've already started a well-earned weekend with a few, well, I'm like to give him reason to pay the next developer said false compliment. Bet my lawyer friend does the same if he gets a jail bait call from someone has earned being there ...
As a programmer I can tell you that we are steriotyped as beeing nurdy, never getting laid, etc. Not true. If only we could take that don't steriotype philosophy to work/school with us.
Okay, the false compliment thing makes sense, cause by saying something like "you don't act blind," they're implying that blind people can't act normal. From that angle, it's kind of crappy, but I'd rather get a false compliment than a totally stupid question, or an equally ignorant statement. Stereotyping is unfortunately a part of most people's lives, and it's probably not gonna disappear anytime soon. I don't mean to sound like a pesimist, cause I'm really not, but there are just certain behaviors that are just part of our flawed human nature.
THAT IS TRUE< AND I have never made efforts to change someone else. I admit; I am quite a pessimist in this area. I thought it was silly they were gonna try and rehab Michael Vic's fighting dogs into house bunnies; they're fighters.
And I never really expect someone who is gonna be like that / stereotype and all, to change. Basically in a management situation, if I knew someone had little enough control of themselves to either not take a shower, or assume a whole group didn't shower, (both are cut from the same cloth in a way), I'd not have them be exposed to the public. You certainly wouldn't want to introduce someone who stereotyped like this - in a vocal or outward way - to your international customers.
And frankly I am glad to know ahead of time, at least at work, because it's less expensive to have them stereotype me, then we know / exclude them from contact with International customers.
The only compliment I've received consistently is that my fiancee and I have been told we're amazing by several people. No idea exactly which superheroic feat we both performed to be tagged as amazing but there ya go. Gotta really work on that wall-crawlinlg and web-slinging thing I guess, I dunno. Hahahaha!
Most people think it is amazing that a blind person can do day to day activities.
R'r'r'r'r'r'roar'r'r'r'r'r!
All those posts and none answered my question. I didn't ask you to debate being blind, just why do you think about it so much? Why does it mattter to you as much as it does?
Sorry if my responses have been off-topic. I really only think about being blind, when it comes things like performing certain tasks on the job, or if I'm in a bar, and need a bathroom or another pressing emergency.
being blind matters to me when the soceity makes it matter. for instance when i can't access services everyone else can due to inaccessibility that is supposed to be illiminated by laws. the DDA in the UK is only a guideline as to how disabled people should be treated, it's no more than that when all is said and done, and blind people are mostly disadvantaged by this law, as most adjustments are seen as, too, unreasonable to be implemented. so i am made to feel blind every day due to the inaccessibility of my day to day life. the only time i don't feel blind is in front of my computer or when i'm working with the horses. then things are okay. but outside, in social situations, all that, i feel isolated and excluded to a great extent.
I think about it because it's who I am. It's waht I've lived with all my life and it's all I really know. And, on the whole, I'm happy with this point of view, even if others might disagree. Besides, why wait around for society to validate you, might as well do it yourself. Can't please everybody especially if you are ornary and eccentric like me.
I agree. I don't think about it constantly but it is a part of me.
Exactly. There's nothing wrong with being blind, and if you've lived with it all your life, let's just be honest. The chances of that changing aren't very high. I'm not saying it's impossible, and with the advancing science, it very likely will be some day, but for now, why complain?
Being blind to me is as much a part of me as being sighted is to sighted people. Just as sighted people don't spend much of their time thinking about the fact they can see, I don't spend much time thinking about how I can't see. My blindness isn't among the most important or interesting things in my life. There are many things I care about a lot more than being blind.
Yeah some things may be inaccessible, but nothing I am dependent on is inaccessible. Some things may be less accessible to me than they are to a sighted person, but that's because I'm blind and not necessarily because somebody decided that they should be inaccessible to me.
Inaccessibility isn't something I think about much. When I do think about it, it is usually because people I work with as part of my voluntary work are discussing it.
I don't feel happy or sad about being blind. I haven't given it enough thought, even after over nearly 24 years of being blind, to be able to decide whether it is something to be happy, sad or indifferent about. I've probably not given much more thought to being blind than I have to having a head, two arms and two legs.
This is an extremely interesting thread and I've read all the posts in it so far. I love post 15. It pretty much sums up how I feel about myself. I very rarely think about my blindness, except when I can't do something "normal" that everyone else can, like read a box of food, read a menu in a restaurant, find the bathroom by myself, go out somewhere without having a set route, take a job that most people can do because it involves sight to one degree or another etc. Certainly, if I could get my sight, whether it be a little or alot, it would be a life-changing event. But, once the initial shock and fear wore off, I don't think that I'd be afraid of it. I'd be excited and eager to learn what this new life would be like. I've gone to a few blind-related places, like meetings and independent centres and also noticed some of these stereotypes but I too don't really see them anywhere else. Perhaps, these people just feel more comfortable in these settings or maybe they don't go out much, so that's why most of us don't notice them. To robozork, I never thought of these compliments as bad things. I haven't gotten the "you don't act like other blind people" that much but I have had people tel me that they didn't know I was blind at first. I've always, and probably will always, consider that a huge compliment. I like to avoid blindisms and it makes me happy when I succeed. It's not about shame either. If someone asks me about my blindness, I'm more than happy to talk about it with them, providing that they're being respectful towards me etc. It's also not like my cane is invisible so I couldn't hide it anyway. But I've got enough things (not disabilities but opinions) that make me different from most people. I don't need blindness as one of them. So when someone mentions that they didn't realise I was blind, it's one more point for me. That said, I don't go out of my way to be an example for anyone. I am who I am and what I am and that's it. If someone wants to learn from me so be it, but I usually don't purposefully try to represent anyone. On the other hand, I also don't hide things about myself to avoid compliments etc. As for friends, I pretty much grew up away from the blind community. It's only within the last few years, actually with this site, that I started making so many blind friends. But I never really distinguish between them, except where it's like "I wish he/she could drive so that we could go out." But I actualy know some fully sightedpeople who don't drive and I think the same about them.
I think about my blindness often enough. I count it as a blessing, and I thank God for it everyday.
Why do people think of themselves as men, just because they have a penis, or women, because they have, other tings, or white or black or smart or stupid or American or Jewish or Mulsim or fans of a sports team or itnernet addicts.
We all need to define to ourselves who we are. Historically people lived in tribes of about 150 to 200 people, even today people have a hard time existing and moving in a crowd of millions without somehow distinguishing themselves from that crowd. Hence we can create virtual clans by looking at our most significant characteristics, finding other who have those in common and then have a place to start from.
Now it is up to us to choose which of these characteristics we choose, is it your school, hobby, skin color, sexual orientation, religion, political opinion, fettish, interest for books and so on. Blindness is a very significant factor of who, and what, we are. It has posed limitations on us growing up, forced us to find other solutions, to forego some things, to choose our friends and hobbies differently (I've always had more girl than guy friends, because teenage boys play socker, lazer tag, video games etc etc, that a blind person can't really participate in, despite heroic attitudes), and so there is no denying that blindness has partly defined us, just like the school you go to, your artistic intuitions or qualities, hobbies, gender and so on has defined us. And blindness remains there, forcing us to adapt, reminding us of its existence, hence it is very easy to use it as a big determining factor of who we are and seek out people with the same definition as a shared common ground.
Some of us don't do that, but many of us do, either way is pretty justified.
It was always necisary to our survival that we lump ourselves and each other in to groups.
Human nature definitely has its flaws. It would seem that many of us prefer to follow some preplanned, unspoken rule of how to live rather than just going with the flow.
I generally think, of being blind when the lights go out. After all, who else is gonna be the one as gets the fuse box working again or whatever?
hmmm
Hahaha. Sighted people tend to rely on us when the power goes out. Good point. Lol.
lol.
I remember once, when I was a child, we had a small power outage. My family relied on me to bring them downstairs and to find the flashlights for them. lol they said I'm the only one who could see in the dark.
A note on post 37; it's terribly awkward and frustrating when one encounters a sighted person who just gushes at how amazing one is because they can do x, y, or z on one's own. When x y and z are ridiculously easy. It comes across as incredibly patronizing rather than complimentary. As it goes to show that many sighted persons do think blind persons are incapable of the simplest activities etc.
I guess the only reason I have been thinking about it lately is because I have been dealing with blindisms. Not me myself, because my parents stopped it early thankfully. But with other people and how to deal with it. That's the only thing. Apart from that, I totally agree with you. You don't have to think about it that often, it makes you just focus on it and makes you feel and act even more awkward. Best thing is to be yourself and to live your life and don't make excuses for your blindness.
A lot of people tell me to play the "blind card" when it most conveniences me, and/or when absolutely necessary, but I really can't do this when I expect sighted people to think I am capable.
Here here to the last post. To me that idea is silly.
However what I distinctly don't like, and never have liked, is people who react in the opposite extreme and attribute every flaw to being blind, or are quick to accuse the person on account of being blind.
I have a relative I tried to get migrated to a new system, being generally a decent sport of a family member, and her response, basically because she'd grown up hearing the anti blindness or ism or whatever stance, and because she didn't want to change anything, tried in her squawks of protest to claim I only said that because I'm blind ... um? this was a professional recommendation. Ironically, to people around, she was the one as seemed weird...
Though I readily left well enough alone - let her deal with the consequences. But seriously some posts on this board remind of her and others similar.
Now if we could lock both extremes in a room, and pipe the subsequent nuclear fission into running a reactor, we'd have us a really small carbon footprint ... aka do something actually useful with them.
You're absolutely right icequeen. I mean, saying that someone doesn't act blind and leaving it at that is one thing. But going on and on because you managed to put on your coat or to pull out a chair, or constantly offering to help you when you've specifically said no thanks is another. I usually insult their intelligence or mock them to their face when they continue to do things like that. Normally, I'm very nice and like to have fun but if I've respectfully said that I'm okay or asked you to stop and you continue, I think it's only right to give you a taste of your own medicine. As for the blind card, I have no difficulties playing it if it'll get me whatever I need at the time. usually, it's for important stuff not for trivial things and I don't play it with my family. But I figure I have it so might as well use it.
But watch. Someone will use that against you some day.
Maybe, but it's very rare that I care what others think of me. Besides, when I use it, it's usually because I honestly think it's justified, not just to get over on people.
The "blind card" is a last, and I do mean last, (you'd better be on your death bed) resort.
Yes. I suppose in those extremely extreme cases, it can be used, but to me, going around using the blind card right and left is no better than "The Boy Who Cried Wolf".
Yes, but I can apreciate the situations when it can be used.
True.
as can I; they'll inevitably come up sometime, y'know?
Well, of course. It just bothers me when people go around saying: I'm blind, so I can't do this. I'm blind, so I can't help you. I'm blind, so I need your help all the time. I'm blind....I'm blind! Poor me! I'm blind! Okay...point made. Lol.
and how many people do you actually know who do this? I still think this must be a minority, because you just wouldn't make it if you were really that way; people wouldn't put up with you. I know of one, and she's rather a mooch more than actually saying anything about blind. Mooches are annoying, but I've known more sighted ones than blind, per capita.
lol Yeah, that is really extreme.
Indeed, but I do know many blind mooches. We don't say "oh wo is me." Not that I know of.
No. I'm just pointing out the extreme cases, and I have seen a few people with this aditude. It usually gets straightened out pretty quick though, I will admit.
hmmm hope I never run into that.
Probably not.
So, anyway, point is...and I've done a pretty crappy job of showing it, but I really can't agree with overusing blindness as a crutch.
I certainly do not use it as a crutch and anyone who does is just sad.
We have our limitations, but everybody has limitations, to some degree or another.
exactly. I have an additional disability, but I don't let it stop me or get in the way of me living to the fullest. there are certainly situations which make it harder at times, but I make the most of them and figure out a way to accomplish said things. I'm not one to use the, "I'm blind and have mild cerebral palsy...so I can't"...where there's a will, there's a way.
Exactly.
I do, at times, use the blind card, but certain circumstances call for it. I used to say, "I'll never do that; I have my pride." Well, at times it simply must be done.
Yes, and I would probably do the same. They say you can never really accurately predict what you will do in any given situation until you're actually there.
True.